that was a close one said the bum

as the bum was driving to work today he almost got into a car accident. he was driving approximately 60mph, had the green light, when a crazy driver in a pickup truck ran a red light (driving at least 50mphs) and almost hit the bum in the middle of an intersection.

the bum's initial reaction was not what he expected. the bum was expecting some slight apprehension. after all, the bum and the crazy driver were within twelve inches of having a high speed collision (and rush hour was just starting up) but the bum didn't feel apprehension; the bum felt a slight bit of exhiliration.

woah! the bum was about to be in a major collision! awesome!

not awesome in a bum could have been seriously injured or worse kinda way but awesome in a what the bum hoots and hollers at on tv, he almost was in kind of way. the bum has to be honest. the bum kinda has been wondering what it would feel like to get into a serious crash much like the one he narrowlly avoided today. the bum doesn't want to get hurt, the bum is just curious. its kinda like when the bum was a kid. the bum wanted to taste bleach because it smelled good (you would be suprised how close taste and smell are related) not because he wanted to harm himself.

so the bum felt gitty. it was exciting and hopefully a once in a lifetime experience. the bum feels there was one thing everyone would agree was a positive of this entire experience: the brakes on the bum's suv responded well. the bum stopped on a dime and wasn't jettisonned from his seat.

hurray for the santa fe!

btw - the bum doesn't suggest tasting bleach, powder, detergent, or mother's perfume.